Mob Wives

I’m on a plane to Boston. After writing that I kind of feel like one of those bloggers or reporters or whatever they are or can be that always writes about things like this. Or maybe it just sounds like I’m starting a travel blog or something similar. All that is beside the point. It’s 12:33am and I am sitting in the middle seat of a somewhat normal-sized JetBlue plane. I can’t decide if my dad is trying to see what I’m writing or if he is just looking around like that because he is half asleep still. It’s probably the latter, of course, but I won’t be surprised if I’m asked about this later. That’s fine. I have nothing to hide from them with this blog stuff. Think about it. It’s there for the public to see right?

At the moment, I’m sitting here watching the mini TV in the head of the seat in front of me. Thank goodness for that too, I don’t know what I would do without it. Well, I DID bring a book to read. The Road, actually, by Cormac McCarthy. But as I begin to read, the plane is getting ready to take-off and the lights go out. No big deal, I’ve got my little overhead light right? Wrong. MY light doesn’t work. The guy next to me has a working light. My dad on the other side has a working light. So whatever. I guess someone just wants me to sit here and watch TV. Not really the end of the world. There are some interesting things on and I sit and watch a few. A little bit of David Letterman along with some Jay Leno and Conan, even a little bit of George Lopez. Oh! “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” is on! I like Mark McGrath. I miss Sugar Ray; they were so good! Ah, the good times. Sometimes I miss it, but I also like this age as of right now so let’s move on.

After some time, I started watching one of those lawyer shows and then another similar one that is kind of like CSI and whatnot. I like those shows so it was fine. ACTUALLY, the lawyer show I was watching is called “Franklin and Bash.” They are partners in their work and the actor that plays Bash is from “Saved By The Bell.” OH MY GOODNESS! And now he has brown hair. WOAH! I love that guy. I mean there’s always Mario Lopez, but you never see the main blonde-haired kid anywhere! Made my night for sure. And onward, I ended up turning to VH1 and got caught up in “Mob Wives.” Yes. THAT is how far this has come. Let me mention the fact that the way I feel right now is really tired. I’m a little cramped, I want to munch on something but I don’t want to actually eat anything (and I don’t want gum), I don’t actually want to watch TV but now this show is getting pretty interesting (honestly, it’s because they are about to start physically fighting with each other and they REALLY need to stop showing those “coming up” clips because the drama is captivating…that’s why they have these shows…oh boy…), my eyes want to close but they aren’t tired enough I think and at the same time I don’t have adjectives to describe this whole experience the way I want to, or at all, especially because I don’t have internet access to use a thesaurus that would make the adjectives necessary, the ones that I don’t have to describe this situation, sound more profound and make this post sound more well-written. As a matter of fact, the Microsoft Word thesaurus will work…but like I said twice before, I don’t have adjectives to get synonyms.

“Mob Wives.” Just finished, before I could get my entire rant across. Story of my life. But still, here it comes. The sad thing about all this is that I’m writing a pointless blog post about what I’m doing on the plane to Boston for my cousin’s wedding. And now, since I’m “watching” VH1, “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars just came on. I’ve seen this video so many times it’s ridiculous. But I have left it on my YouTube playlist because I love it and I love Bruno Mars and now we are getting back off topic. Then again, there really isn’t one here so I guess it’s all OK. So Drita is the wife on the show that is having a huge problem with Karen. OK, obviously, the drama has to come about somehow, right? There is a huge problem with Drita’s husband Lee, he used to be with Karen who cheated on him constantly, they broke up, Drita got with him, and they have kids, and right now he’s in jail or something like that. The whole thing is a really big mess and all these ladies are big time HOT MESSES. That pretty much explains their lives.

Side note: Longest Sleep Number bed commercial ever! I’m just glad that it’s not actually a paid programming, and plus what’s the deal with those beds anyway? I don’t sleep on my back only. I barely do at all anyway. So if I find my sleep number thing, does that mean it would be the same for any side of my body that I want to sleep on? Honestly, it doesn’t even matter. I don’t need one of those. I don’t have back pain or any problems with my mattress or anything. I find my bed rather comfortable and I cannot wait to come back to it after this week is over. Now back to the “important” things.

Now I think I might be feeling a little bad for Drita. And I can’t really get myself to decide whether or not I think she’s pretty. I mean, maybe it’s just because I’m starting to feel bad for her because her husband needs to be drowned but I think in general she’s a nice looking woman. Or, well, she’s not bad looking at all. We’ll go with that to stay on the safe side. And along with that, let me just mention the fact that Karen is hideous. HIDEOUS. And obnoxious and too obsessed with being friends or not and when this person hooked up with that person and blah blah blah and things that are just instigating more fighting between her and Drita. Karen is wrong because she never had a proper relationship with Lee to begin with and Drita didn’t think they were friends anymore when she got together with Lee, so she felt no need to let Karen know. That’s fair, but Karen doesn’t believe that at all. How do you stop being friends just because you lost contact for a few months or weeks? But Drita says it was longer than that. And this is the entire problem. Karen is mad that Drita hooked up with Lee and didn’t feel the need to tell her anything about it because they were tight or whatever. And Drita feels she didn’t have to tell Karen because they weren’t friends at the time. Either way you look at it, it’s the kind of TV drama that is just good enough, and stupid enough, to get a pretty big following, or at least one big enough to keep the show going. Onward through the fog…

Wow this is a long post, but that isn’t too surprising for me I guess. And why make two installments when I have nothing else to do but talk about the ads I kept seeing throughout the “Mob Wives” business? On that note, I will first bring up the eHarmony and match.com ads. Really!? Maybe three or four ads each. What are you trying to say guys? Are you targeting me or something? Are you in cahoots to try and get me to do something with my love life? And at this very moment, Flirty Girl Fitness ad. Now THAT is offensive. HA! Not really of course, but it could be. And that saddest thing is that I actually want to try it because it looks like more fun than any gym workout or running around the block would do. But, then again, it’s not cheap or free or anything that I am willing to pay I don’t think. And WHERE am I supposed to do this stuff!? Can’t do it at home without locking the door and closing the blinds. Especially from my parents and sisters, not even from the people that could potentially be walking by while I do the dances and stuff. Well anyway, that’s what I think about that. And on top of the “find your match online” ads, it gets worse.

1-800-616-SEXY. Yup, that was what one of these ads was for. Call and you can have a sexy time talking to someone on the phone and even set up something with a complete stranger. Who knows where it will lead!? Potential homicide maybe? Or rape? But I guess that is extreme…and only if you decide to act on the person that you are talking to. “Act” upon them was a good choice of wording. I’m just so witty sometimes I can’t handle it! I mean think about it. It’s even coming down to me pointing out my not really as witty but still witty enough to get a chuckle wording to whoever reads this. Which is MAYBE 3 people. But regardless, this was created under potential, and undiagnosed, delirium. And so the ranting continues…The next ad that comes up is yet another exercise one. Which is fine, whatever. The thing about this one is it’s about the Bender Ball, which is supposed to be good for get flexion AND extension with crunches instead of just…I don’t remember which one is missing when you only lay on the flat ground without the ball. Oops (as if it even matters…ha!). The Bender Ball thing was kind of cool too though…seems like it would be interesting to use and it might actually work but who knows really?

And here it comes. The tortured, abused, etc. animals ad. WHY!? That one is killer. I want to donate! I want to help! But I don’t actually trust you enough, Humane Society of the United States. Actually, I do, but I don’t have my own money to give you every month. And I’m already on my way to do something similar to what you want. And just because these images DO disturb me and I DO love animals doesn’t mean I should feel obligated to call you now. Especially since now I’m old enough. I feel bad, yeah, animals are my thing. But that’s beside the point. I want to help them but I would rather go there and help bandage them and take care of them, not send you my money to use in a way that might not be the actual best for that animal. Case closed.

Last, but never least, comes the Trojan Condom ads. EVERYWHERE! Oh wait, right as I’m writing about Trojan, comes another eHarmony ad. This is just going great. But at least it’s helping me pass my time and VH1 is playing music for me in the background….cool beans. But I think twice the condom ads came on. Great. What are you trying to tell me VH1!? Sorry for not being sexually active or for not being in need of a dating site to find someone for me (especially since I’m really not looking…at least not very hard)? Whatever the case may be, it’s definitely more fun to pass the time doing this and criticizing ads and trying to decide whether or not they are trying to tell me something about myself, along with not wanting to sleep because it’s not worth the neck pain really. The crazy thing is, I could have changed the channel. Easy as pie. Well actually that expression doesn’t work because pie isn’t that easy, especially when you’re me and you don’t bake. I don’t even know if I actually know how to bake. I’ve never tried to do so…I just eat my sister’s cookies ^_^. But if I changed the channel, my plane ride would have been less productive I think. How could I have written all this without such wonderful material. Such a meaningful blog post. Actually that’s true because it says a lot about me I think. In an indirect, wussy kind of way. But I wasn’t trying to be profound now was I?

Alas, we are beginning our final decent. And my rant is over. Perfect timing Washington, D. C. ;)